Relationship understanding

Honestly, I thought I was rejected by Tems and she was with Dave. Especially after I was being called a child and everyone laughed at me. That pissed me off. I really don’t like people. So I started thinking why do I like you and if it was real or not.

When I saw the flowers, the date, and saying that you might move on. I felt jealous.

I honestly thought you had moved on and I had no chance. Then when you started attacking me, insulting me, and then the sufferer post on tik tok I was confused.

Like where did all of this come from? You told the interviewer you thought i was being passive aggressive and not saying what I wanted. Or were you talking about someone else at that time?

I felt confused, felt like I was losing, and then you dropped “ what you need” and it kinda made me piece together the fact that you either wanted to be with someone else or you wanted me to show you my worth.

Regardless I felt disrespected and like a dummy. Because why are you doing all of that when you just told me you loved me. Now you’re telling another guy you love them.

Then I saw the Valentine’s Day flowers and with each insult I felt like you were pushing me away more and more. While you claimed to love me and only me.

I felt like you were being a hypocrite and being like every woman. I felt like you just wanted my name or title.

That’s y I left you be and wanted to move on. I felt like you were just playing games because I kept saying I didn’t like the secret stuff. I created the dating profile because it seemed like I was being delusional and talking to myself.

They called you a narcissist. I don’t think so. You have some tendencies when angry but you definitely do care. And as for me being a narcissist, I have tendencies too when I get prideful or angry. However empathy is definitely there because I do care. I’m just dark.

Then I started to look at what you were saying, what the accounts were saying, and trying to figure out the truth. And 13, my friend now was gathering information and figuring out the truth.

So I apologize for thinking wrong and talking to other women with intentions for dating. As far as the friendly part. I’m part of a coalition that takes care of women. I’m part of a business and community. So I have to communicate with women and you have to be able to trust me that I won’t flirt or cheat. As I trust you if you do the same.

That’s why I said what I said about actions from cheating. It wasn’t to attack you, but to address the noise.

All the extra tidbits on ig and TikTok and all that was out noise. Ask Ayra, I didn’t flirt and was going to go to NYC to talk and figure out what’s going on while taking pics.

Our relationship shouldn’t be a spectacle for everyone to view. It shouldn’t be something everyone inputs a comment into.

A relationship is where both people grow. Where we connect. Where we can be honest. Where we can be playful. Where we can feel safe and comfortable enough to be ourselves and share our feelings and thoughts with one another.

Where we both cook for each other. Support one another. Help each other with our dreams. Teach each other. Pick each other up where we fail. And be able to communicate with one another. Which will lead to the best sex ever. The best music creation ever.

A relationship starts with a friendship. Usually with friendships you have to have something in common. Something that builds the bond. Where you can communicate with the person and get to know them.

For us it seems to be music, play, and attitude. We both understand how to communicate and argue even if we look crazy. To be able to completely be ourselves and truly authentic in who we are. In play we can be light with one another when we trust one another because we know with play we can joke around. And in the music is how we communicate with one another. Mine is therapeutic. While yours is dancing vibes. A beautiful combo of energy and smooth calm. An expression of emotion with. Melodic r and b with African combinations.

From you, I do want an apology. For why you attacked me when you know there’s a war going on. I wasn’t trying to ignore or not make time for you. I just had lives to save.

Big Daddy will be with thick mama soon.